1. THEY DON’T EVER ACCEPT THEIR FEELINGS
Most people own up to their feelings when things happen without shame even if they were wrong but not a narcissist. A narcissistic person would never accept their feelings, and they do it knowingly as a means of controlling their partner and they don’t really have a long range of those since they only love themselves. This ploy is called the “Emotional Hot Potato game” by psychologist, author and relationship expert, Dr. Craig Malkin. In explaining this ploy, he says that the narcissist uses this very common trick by projecting what they feel at that moment on to you so that it seems as if the feelings were yours, to begin with. This is, of course, another trick from their bag of manipulative tricks designed to warp your mind. Most times they match this ploy with two other manipulative tricks which include adamantly refusing to answer the questions you ask them which can be very frustrating. The second one includes being deliberately vague with you when you ask them questions, and this too can drive you up the wall; I would know all about that. For instance, you have an issue that affects him, one you would like both of you to discuss and figure out a solution to which is pretty mature but the narcissist would have a way of turning the tables around on you. Instead of talking the issue through calmly they would get all defensive and angry and absolutely refuse to talk about it. But when asked why they are angry, they quickly deny it causing you to be even more frustrates and annoyed. And then the coup de Grace, they would then act like you’re the crazy one there while they have been cool as a cucumber.
Don’t feel so bad that you probably did not notice this as a form of emotional abuse because the narcissist is really good at manipulating people.
2. THEY LOVE THEIR MIND GAMES TOO MUCH TO STOP.
Most normal couples don’t hurt their partners or play manipulative mind games on them for the fun of it or to see their partners crumble thereby making them feel powerful. Only narcissistic people do.
A narcissists skills at manipulative behavior is unbeatable. Their manipulation behavior is quite possibly the best weapon in their arsenal used for emotional abuse. We talked about the emotional hot potato in the first point and here is another one. A narcissist would never end his mind games and what do these mind games even entail. A mind game is a form of manipulation directed to the mind and is used to confuse the mind of his victim and make them vulnerable to further emotional abuse. Crazy right? An example of this is gaslighting. Gaslighting has to be one of the worst mind games that a narcissist plays on his victims. The narcissist discredits his victim’s words and memory by making them doubt their very sanity. It could range from moving things around in the house and then acting like nothing is wrong while their partner goes around looking for where they kept their property and doubting their minds to totally denying full conversation. Read further about gaslighting to understand more. The narcissist plays these mind games on his victims because it gives him a power rush and makes him feel important which is one of the feelings they crave. It is also another way of holding the reins of control over their partners, and a narcissist does like his control a lot. So you can see why stopping the power play might not be possible. 3. THEY DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE EMOTIONS OF OTHERS.
Narcissistic people are perfect examples of living robots. They do not have any sort of emotions if their own but are very good at pretending to have them. Heads up, their pretense lasts only as long as you are important to them or until they get you to love them. Like I said earlier, they are unable to show any empathy to anyone and a better way to explain it is that you don’t care enough about people to worry themselves about the consequences of their behavior. He really does not consider anybody as important as he is and so sees no need to factor in the feelings of others or the result his actions would have on other people. While some people in the world mostly empaths high on the spectrum are willing to sacrifice a lot and offer their very best to help others out, a narcissistic person would do no such thing. He would rather seek for his gain first.
Every man has an ego, but a narcissistic person’s ego is something else entirely. He cannot bear to lose at something and would do just about anything to make sure that he comes out on top every single time so be careful with your dealings with them.
4. THEY WOULD NEVER STOP TRYING TO ONE UP YOU.
Never is the word. Never. One of the textbook characteristics of a narcissist is their almost obsessive need to one-up their partners. It does not matter what the topic was about. If for instance, the partner of a narcissistic man comes home to gush over her new promotion after just two years, the narcissist moves by an unsuppressed urge to be superior would quickly cut into the narration and launch into a long and embellished narration of how they got their own promotion after 3 hours. Anything to make them feel superior and make you feel inferior. If on the other hand, the partner was narrating how she almost got run over by a car and barely got out alive, the narcissist partner would quickly cut into his partner’s narration to tell of something even more tragic than his partner’s experience. Perhaps of how he was run over by a train and still came out unscathed. Whatever the story is they just can’t seem to help themselves and must try to make theirs better than their partners own.
In his book, The Narcissist You Know, Dr. Joseph Burgo talks extensively about the narcissist’s extremely vindictive behavior which is caused by secret feelings of inadequacy. This can explain a narcissistic person’s need to always be superior whether in success or tragedy, they must be superior to their partners.
5. NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE ARE PATHOLOGICAL LIARS.
I have said it before, and I would say it again, narcissistic people are pathological liars. This is because of two things. One is that they only ac not their own version of the truth whether it is skewed or not, they don’t care. Once they have been able to convince themselves that their own version of events is the truth, there is no reasoning with them. They would stick to it. The other reason is closely linked to their prowess in pretense and manipulation. A narcissistic person would never tell the truth because their whole life and image is a lie. They are a living bundle of lies, and they constantly stack lie upon lie on that. If something did not suit a narcissist, he would change it to suit himself. They also have no sense of integrity and so do not mind lying their way to the top.
6. APOLOGIZING IS NOT A WORD THAT. AN BE FOUND IN A NARCISSISTS DICTIONARY.
Narcissistic people are well known for never assuming responsibility for their wrong actions. They never do, and this is probably because they just do not see anything wrong in what they did and so do not see the need to apologize to anyone. He is never at fault; he only reacts to the actions of others. Why can’t other people school their actions and words? Must they always act? This is a serious character flaw and one of the chief reasons that narcissistic people never get along with their partners. How can you get along with someone who would never accept when he’s wrong much less of why it is wrong and how it could be corrected. To make matter worse they somehow project their feelings on you making you doubt your sanity and somehow seeing yourself at fault. They are really region at these mind games.
7. NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE ENJOY STRIFE AND CHARGED ATMOSPHERE.
The most important things in a narcissistic person’s life are his public image, and then his need to feel powerful and in control of not only his life but also the lives of those around him. To achieve this feeling of power and control, the narcissist employs numerous mind games coupled with emotional abuse to keep their victims unsettled emotionally and therefore be able to wrest control of their lives from them and keep them forever inferior to them. To this effect, the atmosphere has to be full of strife, quarrel, and unhappiness because if their victims are allowed to stay in a peaceful environment, they would be able to be on guard and keep control of their lives.
Most of the quarrel in a Narcissistic person’s relationship stems from the fact that the narcissist would never acknowledge his wrong, agree to even talk about it or think of correcting it. Therein lies the second reason for keeping the environment toxic is that the narcissist’s ego and pride would not let him apologize or accept that he is wrong after all he is never wrong. The fault is always his partners own. Be careful about getting into any form of relationship with them.
8. A NARCISSISTIC PERSON WOULD NEVER HIS PARTNER WALK AWAY FROM THE RELATIONSHIP
It is not what you think. No, they aren’t going to harm their partners physically, they are a lot smoother and smarter than that. They have had to be though because no one with as many terrible traits as narcissistic people would survive if they weren’t smart. Because if their pride, a narcissistic person would never let his partner walk out on him, no. He will be doing the walking out if you please. But how do they keep their partners with them in the meantime? It’s simple. Emotional and mental manipulation. Once they notice that their partners are fed up with their atrocious attitude and are planning to leave the relationship, they react by being the most loving creatures to their partners making them change their mind before ignoring them again.
9. NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE.
Narcissistic people never change. It is so bad that you can’t have narcissistic and change in the same sentence unless it were to say that narcissists never change because they actually don’t. It is quite easy to know where their inability to change comes from. Their minds. Narcissistic people believe that they are all Perfect, can do no wrong and are always superior. Because of this faulty thinking, they won’t even listen to their flaws (because they are also extremely sensitive to criticism) talk less of acceptance then change. Narcissistic people change? Ha, we have a better chance of witnessing a blizzard in hell.
I hope that this article has been able to give you insights on the type of personality that a narcissistic person has, it’s characteristics and how to pinpoint them. About how to stay away from them, you just do. Narcissists are so not the type of people you want to have anything to do with. They are very manipulative people who are very subtle with their abuse that you might not even notice. If after reading this article you discover that your significant other is a narcissist, my candid advice to you would be to leave. Just walk away because that’s all we can do since they would never change.
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